WHAT kind of security should a man provide for his wife? Many people are raised to believe that a husband’s primary goal is to help his family to be financially secure. However, some wives who have plenty of material things still feel emotionally insecure—even terrified. A Spanish woman named Rosa, for example, says about the man she married, “With outsiders he was a likable man, but at home he was a rough husband.” Joy, who is from Nigeria, admits, “When I didn’t agree with my husband, he would say, ‘You have to do everything I say because I am your husband.’”

How can a man fulfill his role as a husband in a loving way? What does it take for a husband to make his home secure, “a resting-place” for his wife?—Ruth 1:9, footnote.

Although husband and wife have an equal standing in God’s eyes, the Bible says that each spouse has a distinct role in the family. Romans 7:2 states that a married woman comes under “the law of her husband.” Just as many institutions appoint a head to oversee their affairs, God has appointed the husband to be head of his wife. (1 Corinthians 11:3) Husbands should take the lead in their household.

As husbands, how should you exercise your God-given authority? “Continue loving your wives,” the Bible says, “just as the Christ also loved the congregation.” (Ephesians 5:25) Yes, although he never married, Jesus Christ’s example can help you to become a good husband. Let us see how.

Jesus sought to refresh others and lighten their load. Jesus promised all who were oppressed and weighed down by personal problems: “Come to me, . . . and I will refresh you.” (Matthew 11:28, 29) He often alleviated their physical suffering and provided refreshing spiritual help. No wonder many felt drawn to Jesus, convinced that he would lighten their load!

 How husbands can imitate Jesus. Look for ways to lighten your wife’s load. Some wives feel as did Rosa, who lamented: “I was nothing more than my husband’s maidservant.” In contrast, a man named Kweku, who has a good marriage, says: “I often ask my wife how I can share the load. Because I love her, I often take the initiative to help her with household chores.”

Jesus was considerate and empathetic. For 12 years, a poor woman had suffered from a grievous health problem. On hearing about Jesus’ miraculous power, “she kept saying: ‘If I touch just his outer garments, I will get well.’” She was right. She approached Jesus, touched the fringes of his garment, and was cured at once. Though some observers likely concluded that this woman acted presumptuously, Jesus perceived that she was desperate. * He kindly told  her: “Daughter, . . . be healed from your grievous sickness.” Not only did he avoid embarrassing or rebuking her but he acknowledged her illness. He thus showed what kind of man he was—a man of empathy.—Mark 5:25-34.

How husbands can imitate Jesus. When your wife does not feel well, show her extra consideration and be patient. Try to relate to her and understand her reactions. Ricardo, for example, explains, “When I notice that my wife is extra sensitive, I make a special effort to avoid saying things that could make her feel worse.”

Jesus communicated with his disciples. Jesus talked extensively to his friends. “I have made known to you all the things I have heard from my Father,” he said. (John 15:15) It is true that Jesus sometimes wanted to be alone with his thoughts and to pray. But he often shared his innermost feelings with his disciples. The night before he was put to death as a condemned criminal, he frankly told them that he was “deeply grieved.” (Matthew 26:38) Even when their actions disappointed him, Jesus never stopped talking to his friends.—Matthew 26:40, 41.

How husbands can imitate Jesus. Communicate—from your mind and heart—with your wife. A woman may complain that her husband seems to have no trouble speaking in public but keeps silent at home. On the other hand, note how Ana feels when her husband opens up to her. “I sense that he really loves me,” she says, “and I feel close to him.”

Refuse to use silence as a weapon to punish your wife. “When my husband was upset with me,” says one woman, “he refused to talk to me for days. He made me feel guilty and despised.” Edwin, however, tries to imitate Jesus’ example. “When I get annoyed, I don’t respond right away, but I look for the right moment for us to talk things out.”

Joy, quoted at the outset, has seen changes in her husband since he began studying the Bible with Jehovah’s Witnesses. Joy relates, “He has improved and is trying hard to be a more loving husband in imitation of Jesus.” Millions of married couples are benefiting from the same Bible instruction. Would you like to join them? You can ask one of Jehovah’s Witnesses for a free Bible study.