M’KUKUMBUKA kufa kwa babace, Mike asafokotoza: “Ndakhala wakukakamizika maningi towera ndikhonde bulusa mabvero anga.” Kwa Mike, kukhonda pangiza kutsukwala kwace kukhaonesa kuti iye ndi mamuna. Mbwenye m’kupita kwa nzidzi iye adzadziwa kuti akhadadodomeka. Natenepa, mudafa mbuya wa xamwali wace, Mike adziwa pyakucita. Iye asalonga: “Piaka pingasi ndulimu, ine mbindidamenya phewa yace mbindilonga: ‘Khala ninga mamuna.’ Mbwenye cincino ine ndaphata nkono wace mbindilonga: ‘Pangiza mabvero ako ninga munafuna iwe. Pyenepi pinadzakuphedza kuthimbana na pidacitika. Ungafuna kuti ndiende, ndinaenda. Ungafuna kuti ndikhale, ndinakhala. Mbwenye leka gopa kupangiza mabvero ako.’”

MaryAnne akhalambo wakukakamizika kukhonda bulusa mabvero ace mudafa mamunace. Iye asakumbuka: “Ndanenseka maningi na kufuna khala citsanzo cadidi kwa anango kwakuti nee ndapangiza mabvero anga acibaliro. Mbwenye pakumalisira ndapfunza kuti kuyesera kupangiza mphambvu towera kuwangisa anango nee kukhandiphedza tayu. Ndatoma kudinga nkhaliro wanga mbindipangika: ‘Lira ungafuna kulira. Leka yesera kukhala wamphambvu. Pangiza mabvero ako.’”

Natenepa Mike na MaryAnne asalonga: Tsukwalani! Iwo asalonga undimomwene. Thangwi yanji? Thangwi kutsukwala kusacitisa munthu kupepukirwa. Kubulusa mabvero anu kungakwanise kumalisa kukakamizika kunabva imwe. Mapangiziro acibaliro a mabvero, angaphatanizwa na kubvesesa mphangwa zadidi, asakucitisani kupangiza mabvero anu m’njira yakuthema.

Mwandimomwene, anthu asapangiza kutsukwala kwawo m’njira zakusiyana. Khala munthu afa mwanzidzidzi peno atoma kuduwala m’nzidzi uzinji, pisakhuya matsukwaliro a ale anasala maso. Mbwenye cinthu cibodzi ndi candimomwene: Kukhonda bulusa mabvero anu kungakwanise kuphekesa mwakumanungo mbukuphekesambo manyerezero. Kubulusa kutsukwala kusabweresa ungumi wadidi. M’njira ipi? Malemba ali na uphungu wakuphata basa.

Kulonga kungakwanise kucitisa kupepukirwa. Mudamala kufa anace khumi, pabodzi na kuthimbana na pidengwa pinango, kholo Yobe alonga: “Mbidafa kwene pyanga mbwenye! Chinchino ndisafuna kudungunya [Ciheberu, “kubulusa”]. Pyonsene pikhabindira ine ndisafuna ndipilongerethu!” (Yobe 1:2, 18, 19; 10:1) Yobe nee mbadapitiriza kubindira pinthu pikhandzudzumisa  tayu. Iye akhafuna kupibulusa; iye akhafunika ‘kupilongerathu.’ M’njira ibodzibodzi, Shakespeare, nciti wa pisango Wacingerezi, alemba m’Macbeth: “Longani kutsukwala kwanu; kutsukwala kokhonda longwa kungakwanise kunetesa munthu.”

Natenepa kulonga mabvero anu kwa “xamwali [wandimomwene]” wakuti anakubveserani mwakupirira mbakubverani ntsisi kungakwanise kukucitisani kupepukirwa. (Misangani 17:17) Kazinji kene kulonga mabvero anu na pinatamba imwe kusaphedza anango kupibvesesa na kupitsalakana. Khala nyakubvesera ndi munthu unango adaferwa wakuti athimbana mwadidi na kuferwa kwace, mungakwanise kugumana manyerezero akuphedza towera mukwanisembo kuthimbana na nyatwa zanu. Mudaferwa iye na mwanace, mama unango afokotoza kuti aphedzeka tani thangwi ya kulonga na nkazi unango adaferwambo na mwanace: “Kudziwa kuti munthu unango atamba nyatwa ibodzi ene, apembera m’kuthimbana nayo, na kuti umaso wace uli kukhala pontho mwadidi, pyandiwangisa kakamwe.”

Ndiye tani khala imwe nkhabe kupibva mwadidi kulonga pya mabvero anu? Mudamala kufa Sauli na Jonatani, Davide alemba nyimbo yaciriro yakukhuya kakamwe mabvero mbabulusa kutsukwala kwace konsene. Nyimbo ineyi yaciriro yadzacita khundu ya bukhu ya Biblya ya Samwele Waciwiri. (2 Samwele 1:17-27; 2 Pya dziko ya Israele [Mbiri] 35:25) M’njira ibodzibodzi, anango asaona kukhala pyokhonda nensa kulemba towera kulonga mabvero awo. Nzice unango alonga kuti iye alemba mabvero ace na pakupita ntsiku zingasi atoma kuleri pikhadalemba iye. Pyenepi pyamphedza kukhala wakupepukirwa.

M’kulonga peno m’kulemba, kulonga mabvero anu kungakwanise kukuphedzani kubulusa kutsukwala kwanu. Kungakwanisembo kukuphedzani kumalisa kukhonda bverana. Mama unango wakuferwa asafokotoza: “Ine na mamunanga tabva pya anyakukwatana anango adamwalana pakumala kuluza mwanawo, mbwenye ife nee tikhafuna kuti pyenepi piticitikire. Natenepa, m’nzidzi ukhakhala ife akuipirwa, mbitifuna kupasana mulando, tikhaceza towera kumalisa nseru. Ndisanyerezera kuti m’kucita pyenepi tawangisa kakamwe ukwati wathu.” Natenepa, kulonga mabvero anu kungakwanise kukuphedzani kudziwa kuti ngakhale mwaferwa ninga anango, anthu anango angakwanise kutsukwala m’njira zakusiyana.

Cinthu cinango cakuti cingakwanise kuphedza kubulusa kutsukwala ndi kulira. Biblya isalonga kuti ulipo “ndzidzi wakulira.” (Koelete [Mlaliki] 3:1, 4) Mwandimomwene, kufa kwa munthu anafuna ife kusabweresa nzidzi unoyu. Kubulusa misozi thangwi yakutsukwala kusaoneka ninga khundu yakufunika towera kukhala pontho mwadidi.

Ntsikana unango asafokotoza kuti xamwali wace wapantima amphedza tani kuthimbana na kufa kwa mace. Iye asakumbuka: “Nzidzi onsene xamwali wanga akhali na ine. Iye alira na ine. Alonga na ine. Ndakwanisa kubulusa mabvero anga, na pyenepi  pyandiphedza. Nee ndakhala na manyadzo thangwi ya kulira tayu.” (Onani Aroma 12:15.) Imwembo nee musafunika kukhala na manyadzo thangwi ya misozi yanu. Ninga taona, Biblya yadzala na pitsanzo pya amuna na akazi acikhulupiro—kuphataniza Yezu Kristu—adabulusa misozi yawo pakweca mokhonda khala na manyadzo.—Genesi 50:3; 2 Samwele 1:11, 12; Jwau 11:33, 35.

M’midzidzi inango mungakwanise kucimwana kudzindikira mabvero anu mwanyapantsi. Misozi ingakwanise kutoma kubuluka mwanzidzidzi. Nzice unango aona kuti kugula pinthu m’loja (pinthu pyakuti kazinji kene iye akhacita na mamunace) mbukudakwanisa kuncitisa kulira, makamaka mukhakwata iye, thangwi yakudzoloera, pyakudya pikhakomerwa na mamunace. Pirirani na mabvero anu. Lekani kunyerezera kuti musafunika kukhondesa misozi yanu kubuluka. Kumbukani kuti misozi ndi cinthu cacibaliro na cakufunika cinapangiza kutsukwala.

Ninga mudaona ife, anango asapasika mulando thangwi ya kufa kwa nyakufunika wawo. Pyenepi pingakwanise kuphedza kufokotoza kutsukwala kukulu kudakhala na mamuna wakukhulupirika Yakobe mudacitiswa iye kukhulupira kuti mwanace Zuze aphiwa na “chikala.” Yakobe akhadatuma Zuze towera kaona abale ace khala ali mwadidi. Natenepa Yakobe panango akhanenseka mbapasika mulando, mbanyerezera: ‘Thangwi yanji ndatuma Zuze ekhene? Thangwi yanji ndantuma ku cisa cakudzala na pikala?’—Genesi 37:33-35.

Panango imwe munganyerezere kuti phwazo yanu yacitisa nyakufunika wanu kufa. Kudziwa kuti kupasika mulando—wandimomwene peno wakunyerezera—ndi matsukwaliro acibaliro kungakwanise kukhala kwakuphedza. Pontho, lekani kunyerezera kuti musafunika kubisa mabvero anu. Kulonga pya mulando unapasika imwe kungakwanise kukucitisani kupepukirwa kakamwe.

Mbwenye, dziwani kuti mokhonda tsalakana ntundu wa kufuna uli na ife kwa munthu unango, ife nkhabe kwanisa kutonga umaso wace, pontho nkhabe kwanisa kukhondesa kuti ‘nzidzi na pinthu pyakukhonda dikhirika’ pigwere ale anafuna ife. (Koelete 9:11, NM) Mbuto mwa pyenepi, dziwani kuti pifuno pyanu nee ndi pyakuipa tayu. Mwacitsanzo, thangwi yakukhonda kuenda  mwakucimbiza kwa dotoro towera akadingwe ungumi wace, kodi nkhulonga kuti mukhafuna kuti nyakufunika wanu aduwale na kufa? Nkhabe! Mphapo, kodi muli na mulando thangwi ya kufa kwa munthu unoyu? Nkhabe.

Mama unango apfunza kuthimbana na kupasika mulando mudafa mwanace wankazi pa cidengwa ca motokala. Iye asalonga: “Ndapasika mulando thangwi ndine ndikhadantuma. Mbwenye ndadzadziwa kuti nee pikhali pyanzeru kupibva tenepa. Nee ndadodomeka tayu thangwi ya kuntuma kuti akaphate basa pabodzi na babace. Ceneci cikhali cidengwa cakugopswa basi.”

Panango imwe mungakwanise kulonga: ‘Pana pinthu pizinji pyakuti mbidapilonga peno kupicita.’ Mwandimomwene, kodi mbani mwa ife wakuti angakwanise kulonga kuti ndiye baba, mama, peno mwana waungwiro? Biblya isatikumbusa: “Ife tonsene tinadawisa pa pinthu pizinji. Mbwenye uyu anakhonda kudawisa pa kulonga mafala ache, ndiye munthu wakulungamirathu.” (Tyago 3:2; Aroma 5:12) Natenepa, tawirani kuti imwe simwe waungwiro tayu. Manyerezero akuti “khala ndacita cinthu cakuti . . .” nee anadzacinja cinthu tayu, mbwenye angakwanise kudembukisa kukhala kwanu pontho mwadidi.

Khala muli na mathangwi adidi akukhulupira kuti kupasika kwanu mulando ndi kwandimomwene, tayu kwakunyerezera, onani cinthu cakufunika kakamwe towera kumalisa mulando unoyu—kulekererwa na Mulungu. Biblya isatipasa cibaso ici: “Mbuya, mbamudakoya madawo athu, mbani anakhalikira mungatonga miseru? Mbwenye kwa Imwe tinagumana [kulekererwa].” (Masalmo 130:3, 4) Imwe nkhabe kwanisa kubweza nzidzi towera kucinja pinthu. Mbwenye mungakwanise kuphemba kuti Mulungu akulekerereni madawo adacita imwe. Buluka penepo munacitanji? Inde, nakuti Mulungu asapikira kulekerera madawo anu, kodi imwe nkhabe funika kulekerereka mwekhene?—Misangani 28:13; 1 Jwau 1:9.

Kodi imwe musaipirwa, panango na adotoro, akonzi anango, axamwali, ngakhale na ule adafa? Dziwani kuti anewa ndi mabvero akudzoloereka a munthu anaferwa. Panango kuipirwa kwanu ndi cinthu cacibaliro cinaperekera kupha kunabva imwe. Mulembi unango alonga: “M’kudziwa kuti mwaipirwa—tayu kucita pinthu thangwi yakuipirwa mbwenye kudziwa basi kuti mwaipirwa—mungakwanise kupulumuka ku pyakubwereswa pyakufudza.”

Kulonga pya kuipirwa kwanu kungakwanisembo kukuphedzani. M’njira ipi? Tayu m’njira yakupangizadi kuti mwaipirwa. Biblya isacenjeza kuti kuipirwa m’nzidzi uzinji ndi ngobzi. (Misangani 14:29, 30) Mbwenye mungakwanise kugumana cithondoso m’kulonga pyenepi na xamwali anafuna kukubveserani. Anango asaona kuti kuthamula manungo angaipirwa kusaaphedza kukhala akupepukirwa.—Onanimbo Aefesi 4:25, 26.

Nakuti mphyakufunika kubulusa mabvero anu na kukhala wakuona ntima thangwi ya iwo, mphyadidi kucita mphole-mphole. Pana kusiyana kukulu pakati pa kulonga mabvero anu na kuatulira anango. Nee musafunika kupasa anango mulando thangwi ya kuipirwa na kuphatiswa kwanu mwala. Natenepa khalani wanzeru m’kulonga pya mabvero anu, mbwenye tayu mwanthonga. (Misangani 18:21) Pana ciphedzo cikulu kakamwe towera kuthimbana na kutsukwala, na tinadzacidinga cincino.

Biblya isatipasa cibaso ici: “Mbuya anaphedza ale a ntima wakukundwa, mbapulumusa ale adataya chipapo chonsene.” (Masalmo 34:18) Inde, kupiringana pyonsene, uxamwali na Mulungu ungakwanise kukuphedzani kuthimbana na kufa kwa munthu anafuna imwe. M’njira ipi? Manyerezero onsene akuphedza  adaperekwa mpaka cincino abuluswa peno asabverana na Mafala a Mulungu, Biblya. Kuaphatisira kungakwanise kukuphedzani kuthimbana na kuluza kwanu.

Mwakuthimizira, lekani kupwaza mphambvu ya phembero. Biblya isatidembetera: “Siyira Mbuya pinadzudzumika na iwe, thangwi ndiyene anakuonera.” (Masalmo 55:22) Nakuti kulonga mabvero anu kwa xamwali anakubverani ntsisi kungakwanise kuphedza, ndiye tani kulonga pyonsene piri m’ntima mwanu kwa Mulungu “anabalangaza anthu onsene”!—2 Akorinto 1:3.

Pyenepi nee pisabveka kuti phembero isakucitisani kwene kupibva mwadidi. ‘Mbveseri wa maphembero’ asapikira kupasa nzimu wakucena kwa anzakazi ace anauphemba mwakuona ntima. (Masalmo 65:2; Luka 11:13) Nzimu wakucena wa Mulungu, peno mphambvu yakuphata basa, ungakwanise kukupasani ‘mphambvu zikulu maningi’ towera mukwanise kufika ntsiku inango. (2 Akorinto 4:7) Kumbukani kuti Mulungu angakwanise kuphedza anzakazi ace akukhulupirika kupirira nyatwa zonsene zinathimbana na iwo.

Nkazi unango adaferwa na mwanace asakumbuka kuti mphambvu ya phembero yaphedza tani iye na mamunace kupepukirwa na kuluza kwawo. Iye asafokotoza: “Tikhakhala panyumba namasiku kutsukwala mbukubwera mwanzidzidzi, ife tikhaphembera pabodzi mwakugaluza. M’nzidzi wakutoma ukhafunika ife kucita cinthu mwakusowa iye—nsonkhano wakutoma wa mpingo udaenda ife, nsonkhano wakutoma wa gawo udaenda ife—tikhafunika kuphembera towera tikhale na mphambvu. Mukhalamuka ife namacibese mbitiona kuti tisacimwana kupirira, tikhaphembera kwa Yahova towera atiphedze. Ine nkhabe dziwa kuti thangwi yanji, mbwenye ikhali nyatwa ikulu kwa ine kufamba ndekhene m’nyumba. Nzidzi onsene ukhabwerera ine ndekha kunyumba, ndikhaphembera kwa Yahova kuti andiphedze kukhala wakukhurudzika.” Nkazi unoyu wakukhulupirika mwakuthema na mwamphambvu asakhulupira kuti maphembero anewa amphedza. Imwembo mungakwanise kuona kuti m’kutawirwa kwa maphembero anu, ‘ntendere wa Mulungu wakupiringana nzeru zonsene unadzakoya ntima wanu na nzeru zanu.’—Afilipi 4:6, 7; Aroma 12:12.

Ciphedzo cinapasa Mulungu cisawangisadi. Mpostolo Wacikristu Paulu alonga kuti Mulungu ‘asatibalangaza ife mu nyatwa zathu zonsene towera ifembo tikwanise kubalangaza anthu ali mu nyatwa zonsene.’ Mwandimomwene, ciphedzo caumulungu nkhabe malisa kubva kupha, mbwenye cingakwanise kuticitisa kupirira mokhonda nensa. Pyenepi nkhabe bveka kuti cipo munadzalira peno munadzaduwala nyakufunika wanu. Mbwenye mungakwanise kukhala pontho mwadidi. Mungadzakhala pontho mwadidi, pidatamba imwe pingakwanise kukucitisani kubvesesa na kubvera ntsisi m’kuphedza anango kuthimbana na kuluza kubodzi kwene.—2 Akorinto 1:4.