‘Jabula Ngomfazi Wobusha Bakho’
‘Jabula Ngomfazi Wobusha Bakho’
“[Jabula] ngomfazi wobusha bakho . . . Kungani, ndodana yami, kufanele ugajwe uthando ngowesifazane ongaziwa?”—IZAGA 5:18, 20.
1, 2. Kungani kungase kuthiwe uthando lwezithandani phakathi kwendoda nomkayo lubusisekile?
IBHAYIBHELI alimbangcazi endabeni yobuhlobo bobulili. KuzAga 5:18, 19, siyafunda: “Mawubusiswe umthombo wakho, ujabule ngomfazi wobusha bakho, indluzelekazi ethandekayo nembuzi ebukekayo yasezintabeni. Amabele akhe mawakujabulise kakhulu ngazo zonke izikhathi. Kwangathi njalo ungagajwa uthando lwakhe.”
2 Lapha igama elithi “umthombo” lisho umthombo wokwaneliseka ngokobulili. Ubusisekile ngoba uthando nentokozo eba phakathi kwabantu abashadile yisipho esivela kuNkulunkulu. Nokho, lokhu kusondelana okwabantu abashadene kuphela. Ngakho, inkosi yakwa-Israyeli wasendulo, uSolomoni umlobi wezAga, ibuza umbuzo ongadingi mpendulo: “Kungani, ndodana yami, kufanele ugajwe uthando ngowesifazane ongaziwa noma ugone isifuba sowesifazane wesinye isizwe?”—IzAga 5:20.
3. (a) Isiphi isimo esidabukisayo esikhona emishadweni eminingi? (b) UNkulunkulu ukubheka kanjani ukuphinga?
3 Ngosuku lwabo lomshado, indoda nowesifazane benza isithembiso esibalulekile sokuthandana nokuhlala bethembekile. Noma kunjalo, ukuphinga kuchitha imishado eminingi. Empeleni, ngemva kokuhlaziya izifundo zokuhlola ezingu-25, omunye umcwaningi waphetha ngokuthi “amaphesenti angu-25 amakhosikazi namaphesenti angu-44 amadoda ake aphinga.” Umphostoli uPawulu wathi: “Ningadukiswa. Izifebe, noma abakhonza izithombe, iziphingi, amadoda agcinelwe izinjongo ezingezona ezemvelo, amadoda alala namadoda . . . ngeke balizuze ifa lombuso kaNkulunkulu.” (1 Korinte 6:9, 10) Akukho kungabaza. Ukuphinga kuyisono esingathí sina phambi kukaNkulunkulu, futhi abakhulekeli beqiniso kumelwe bakuxwaye ukungathembeki emshadweni. Yini eyosisiza ukuba sigcine ‘umshado uhloniphekile, nombhede womshado ungangcolile’?—Hebheru 13:4.
Qaphela Inhliziyo Ekhohlisayo
4. Iziphi ezinye zezindlela umKristu oshadile angaqala ngazo ukushendeza engaqaphele?
4 Ezweni lanamuhla elingenasimilo, abantu abaningi “banamehlo agcwele ukuphinga futhi abakwazi ukuyeka isono.” (2 Petru 2:14) Bashendeza ngenhloso. Kwamanye amazwe, sekunabesifazane abaningi abasebenzayo, futhi ukuxubana kwabesilisa nabesifazane kuye kwakhuthaza ukuqhutshwa kwezothando emahhovisi. Izingosi zengevu ze-Internet nazo ziye zakwenza kwaba lula ukuba ngisho nabantu abanamahloni kakhulu baqale ukuthandana nothile. Baningi abantu abashadile abawela ezingibeni ezinjalo bengaboni ukuthi kwenzekani kubo.
5, 6. Omunye wesifazane ongumKristu wangena kanjani esimweni esiyingozi, futhi yini esiyifundayo kulokhu?
5 Cabanga indlela umKristu esizombiza ngoMary angena ngayo esimweni esacishe samenza waziphatha kabi ngokobulili. Umyeni wakhe, ongeyena uFakazi kaJehova, wayengawubonisi thando olutheni umkhaya wakhe. UMary ukhumbula eminyakeni eminingi edlule lapho eqala ukwazana nomuntu owayesebenza nomyeni wakhe. Le ndoda yayingeve inobuntu, futhi kamuva yaze yabonisa nesithakazelo ezinkolelweni zenkolo kaMary. UMary uthi: “Wayengeve enomusa, ehluke kakhulu kumyeni wami.” Kungakabiphi uMary nalo mlisa base bethandana. UMary wacabanga: “Angiphingile, kanti futhi lo muntu unesithakazelo eBhayibhelini. Mhlawumbe ngingamsiza.”
6 Ngaphambi kokuba lokhu kuthandana kuholele ekuphingeni, uMary wasanguluka. (Galathiya 5:19-21; Efesu 4:19) Unembeza wakhe waqala ukusebenza, wayeselungisa isimo. Okwenzeka kuMary kufakazela ukuthi “inhliziyo ikhohlisa ngaphezu kwanoma yini enye futhi yenza ngokuphelelwa yithemba.” (Jeremiya 17:9) IBhayibheli liyasiyala: “Ngaphezu kwakho konke okumelwe kuqashelwe, qapha inhliziyo yakho.” (IzAga 4:23) Singakwenza kanjani lokho?
‘Onokuqonda Uyacasha’
7. Lapho sisiza umuntu onezinkinga zomshado, isiphi iseluleko seBhayibheli esiyoba isivikelo?
7 Umphostoli uPawulu wabhala: “Lowo ocabanga ukuthi umile makaqaphele angawi.” (1 Korinte 10:12) IzAga 22:3 zona zithi: “Unokuqonda lowo oboné inhlekelele wabe esecasha.” Kunokuba uzethembe ngokweqile, uzitshele ukuthi, ‘Ngeke kwenzeke lutho kimi,’ ubonisa ukuhlakanipha uma uzicabangela kusengaphambili izimo ezingaholela ezinkingeni. Ngokwesibonelo, gwema ukuba yisifuba somuntu wobulili obuhlukile onezinkinga ezinkulu emshadweni. (IzAga 11:14) Mtshele lowo muntu ukuthi izinkinga zomshado kungcono azixoxe nomngane wakhe womshado, nomKristu ovuthiwe wobulili obufanayo ofuna ukubabona bephumelela, noma nabadala. (Thithu 2:3, 4) Abadala emabandleni oFakazi BakaJehova babeka isibonelo esihle kulokhu. Lapho umdala kudingeka axoxe ngasese nodade ongumKristu, wenza kanjalo endaweni enabantu—njengaseHholo LoMbuso.
8. Yini okufanele siyiqaphele kakhulu emsebenzini?
8 Emsebenzini nakwezinye izindawo, qaphela izimo ezingase zibangele ukwakheka kwemizwa yothando. Ngokwesibonelo, ukuchitha isikhathi esengeziwe usebenzelana eduze nomuntu wobulili obuhlukile kungadala isilingo. Njengendoda noma owesifazane oshadile, kufanele ukwenze kucace ngenkulumo nangokuziphatha kwakho ukuthi awuyingeni eyokuthandana. Njengomuntu ophishekela ukuzinikela kokuhlonipha uNkulunkulu, ngeke neze uthande ukuzibangela ukunakashelwa ngokudlala ngothando noma ngokugqoka futhi uzilungise ngendlela engenasizotha. (1 Thimothewu 4:8; 6:11; 1 Petru 3:3, 4) Ukuba nezithombe zomngane wakho womshado nezingane zenu obala emsebenzini kuyokhumbuza wena nabanye ukuthi umkhaya wakho ubalulekile kuwe. Zimisele ukungalokothi ubavumele abanye—ingasaphathwa eyokubakhuthaza—ukuba bazidlise satshanyana kuwe ngezinhloso zothando.—Jobe 31:1.
“Jabulela Ukuphila Nomfazi Wakho Omthandayo”
9. Iziphi izenzakalo ezingaholela ekubeni kukhange ukuthandana nomunye umuntu?
9 Ukuqapha inhliziyo kudinga okungaphezu kokugwema izimo eziyingozi. Ukukhangwa omunye umuntu kungaba inkomba yokuthi indoda nomkayo abazinakekeli izidingo zomunye nomunye. Kungenzeka ukuthi inkosikazi ihlale inganakiwe noma ukuthi umyeni uhlale egxekwa. Kube sekuvela omunye umuntu—emsebenzini noma ngisho nasebandleni lobuKristu—obonakala enalezo zimfanelo ezintuleka kumngane womshado. Ngokushesha kuba khona ukuzwana, bese lobo buhlobo obusanda kwakheka bukhanga ngendlela eyisimanga. Konke lokhu kwenzeka kunganakiwe, futhi kufakazela ukuba yiqiniso kwala mazwi eBhayibheli: “Yilowo nalowo ulingwa ngokuhehwa nangokuhungwa yisifiso sakhe siqu.”—Jakobe 1:14.
10. Amadoda nabafazi bangabuqinisa kanjani ubuhlobo babo?
10 Kunokuba babheke engxenye ukuze banelise izidingo zabo—kungaba esokuthandwa, esobungane, noma esokusekelwa esimweni esinzima—amadoda nabafazi kufanele basebenzele ukuqinisa uthando lwabo nabangane babo bomshado. Ngakho, qinisekani ukuthi niba nesikhathi ndawonye, nisondelane kakhulu. Cabangani ngalokho okwanenza naqala ukuthandana. Zama ukuvuselela imizwa owawunayo ngalo muntu owagcina ushade naye. Cabanga ngezikhathi ezimnandi eniye naba nazo ndawonye. Thandaza kuNkulunkulu ngale ndaba. Umhubi uDavide wanxusa uJehova: “O Nkulunkulu, dala kimi inhliziyo ehlanzekile impela, ufake ngaphakathi kimi umoya omusha, ogxilile.” (IHubo 51:10) Zimisele ‘ukujabulela ukuphila nomfazi wakho omthandayo zonke izinsuku zokuphila kwakho uNkulunkulu akunike zona phansi kwelanga.’—UmShumayeli 9:9.
11. Ulwazi, ukuhlakanipha nokuqonda kufeza yiphi indima ekuqiniseni isibopho somshado?
11 Okunye okubalulekile ekuqiniseni isibopho somshado ulwazi, ukuhlakanipha nokuqonda. IzAga 24:3, 4 zithi: “Indlu iyokwakhiwa ngokuhlakanipha, futhi ngokuqonda iyokuma iqine. Ngolwazi amakamelo angaphakathi ayogcwaliswa ngazo zonke izinto eziyigugu nezimnandi zenani elikhulu.” Ezinye zezinto eziyigugu eziba sekhaya elinenjabulo yizimfanelo ezinjengothando, ubuqotho, ukwesaba uNkulunkulu nokholo. Kudingeka ulwazi ngoNkulunkulu ukuze umuntu abe nazo. Ngakho-ke, imibhangqwana eshadile kufanele ibe abafundi abakhuthele beBhayibheli. Ukuhlakanipha nokuqonda kona kubaluleke kangakanani? Ukuze umuntu abhekane ngempumelelo nezinkinga zansuku zonke kudingeka abe nokuhlakanipha, ikhono lokusebenzisa ulwazi lwemiBhalo. Umuntu onokuqonda uyakwazi ukuqonda imicabango nemizwa yomngane wakhe womshado. (IzAga 20:5) Esebenzisa uSolomoni, uJehova uthi: “Ndodana yami naka ukuhlakanipha kwami. Thambekisela izindlebe zakho ekuqondeni kwami.”—IzAga 5:1.
Lapho Kuba “Nosizi”
12. Kungani kungamangalisi ukuthi imibhangqwana eshadile iba nezinkinga?
12 Awukho umshado ongenazo nhlobo izinkinga. IBhayibheli lize lithi amadoda nabafazi bayoba “nosizi enyameni.” (1 Korinte 7:28) Ukukhathazeka, ukugula, ushushiso nezinye izici kungaba izingcindezi emshadweni. Nokho, lapho kuba nezinkinga, kudingeka nifune amakhambi ndawonye njengabangane bomshado abaqotho abafuna ukujabulisa uJehova.
13. Iziphi izici indoda nomfazi abangazihlola kuzo?
13 Kuthiwani uma isimo singesihle emshadweni ngenxa yendlela abangane bomshado abaphathana ngayo? Kudingeka umzamo ukuze kutholakale ikhambi. Ngokwesibonelo, kungenzeka ukuthi umkhuba wokukhulumisana ngokhahlo usungene waze wagxila kunganakiwe. (IzAga 12:18) Njengoba kuchaziwe esihlokweni esandulele, lokhu kungadala umonakalo. Esinye isaga seBhayibheli sithi: “Kungcono ukuhlala ezweni eliyihlane kunokuhlala ukhathazekile endlini nomfazi othanda ingxabano.” (IzAga 21:19) Uma ungumfazi onomshado onjalo, zibuze, ‘Ingabe isimo sami sengqondo senza kube nzima kumyeni wami ukuba kanye nami?’ IBhayibheli lithi emadodeni: “Qhubekani nithanda omkenu futhi ningabathukutheleli kakhulu.” (Kolose 3:19) Uma uyindoda eshadile, zibuze, ‘Ingabe angilubonisi uthando, okulinga umkami ukuba afune induduzo kwenye indawo?’ Yiqiniso, asikho isizathu esamukelekayo sokuziphatha kabi ngokobulili. Nokho, ukwazi ukuthi into ebuhlungu njengaleyo ingenzeka kuyisizathu esihle sokuxoxa ngokukhululekile ngezinkinga.
14, 15. Kungani ukuthandana nomunye umuntu kungazixazululi izinkinga zomshado?
14 Ukufuna induduzo ngokuthandana nomunye umuntu akuzixazululi izinkinga zomshado. Bungaholelaphi nje lobo buhlobo? Komunye umshado ongcono? Abanye bangase bacabange kanjalo. Bathi, ‘Futhi nje izimfanelo zalo muntu yizo kanye lezi engizidingayo kumngane womshado.’ Kodwa lokho kucabanga kuyiphutha, ngoba noma ubani ongashiya umngane wakhe womshado—noma akhuthaze wena ukuba ushiye owakho—akabuhloniphi neze ubungcwele bomshado. Akunangqondo ukulindela ukuba lobo buhlobo buholele emshadweni ongcono.
15 UMary, okukhulunywe ngaye ngaphambili, wacabanga kanzulu ngemiphumela yenkambo yakhe, kuhlanganise nokuthi angase azilahlekisele yena noma omunye umuntu ngomusa kaNkulunkulu. (Galathiya 6:7) Uthi: “Lapho ngiqala ukuhlola imizwa enganginayo ngale ndoda eyayisebenza nomyeni wami, ngabona ukuthi uma ayekhona amathuba okuba ithole amaqiniso, mina ngiyawanciphisa. Ukona kwakuyoba nomphumela omubi kuwo wonke umuntu ohilelekile futhi kukhubekise abanye!”—2 Korinte 6:3.
Isisusa Esinamandla Kunazo Zonke
16. Imiphi eminye yemiphumela yokuziphatha okungcolile?
16 IBhayibheli liyaxwayisa: “Izindebe zowesifazane ongaziwa zihlale ziconsa njengekhekheba lezinyosi, nolwanga lwakhe lubushelelezi kunamafutha. Kodwa umphumela wakhe ubaba njengomhlonyane; ubukhali njengenkemba esika nhlangothi-zombili.” (IzAga 5:3, 4) Imiphumela yokuziphatha okungcolile ibuhlungu futhi ingabulala. Ihlanganisa unembeza okhathazekile, isifo esidluliselwa ngobulili nobuhlungu obungokomzwelo kumngane womshado walowo muntu ongathembekanga. Ngokuqinisekile, lokhu kuyisizathu sokungayiqali nokuyiqala inkambo engaholela ekungathembekini emshadweni.
17. Isiphi isizathu esinamandla kunazo zonke sokuhlala sithembekile emshadweni?
17 Isizathu esiyinhloko esenza ukungathembeki emshadweni kube kubi ukuthi uJehova, uMsunguli womshado noMuphi wamandla obulili, uyakulahla. Esebenzisa umprofethi uMalaki, uthi: “Ngiyokuza kini ngenjongo yokwahlulela, futhi ngiyoba ngufakazi osheshayo ngokumelene . . . neziphingi.” (Malaki 3:5) Mayelana nalokho uJehova akubonayo, izAga 5:21 zithi: “Izindlela zomuntu ziphambi kwamehlo kaJehova, ubhekisisa yonke imikhondo yakhe.” Yebo, “zonke izinto zíze futhi zenekwe obala emehlweni alowo esiyolandisa kuye.” (Hebheru 4:13) Ngakho-ke, isisusa esinamandla kunazo zonke sokuhlala sithembekile emshadweni ukwazi ukuthi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukungathembeki kufihlwe kangakanani noma kubonakala kunemiphumela emincane kangakanani ebonakalayo noma esebuhlotsheni babantu, noma isiphi isenzo sobulili esiwukungcola siyabulimaza ubuhlobo bethu noJehova.
18, 19. Yini esiyifunda endabeni kaJosefa nomkaPotifari?
18 Isibonelo sikaJosefa, indodana yenzalamizi uJakobe, sibonisa ukuthi isifiso sokuzigcina sinokuthula noNkulunkulu siyisisusa esinamandla. UJosefa wathola umusa kuPotifari, isikhulu segceke sikaFaro, wanikwa isikhundla esiphakeme endlini kaPotifari. Futhi uJosefa ‘wayenomzimba omi kahle futhi emuhle’ ngendlela eyaphawuleka nakumkaPotifari. Nsuku zonke wayezama ukuyenga uJosefa, kodwa angaphumeleli. Yini eyayenza uJosefa amelane nalokho kuyengwa? IBhayibheli liyasitshela: “Wayenqaba athi kumkankosi yakhe: ‘Bheka inkosi yami . . . ayingigodlelanga lutho neze ngaphandle kwakho, ngoba ungumkayo. Khona-ke ngingabenza kanjani lobu bubi obukhulu kangaka ngone kuNkulunkulu?’”—Genesise 39:1-12.
19 UJosefa owayengashadile walondoloza ukuziphatha okumsulwa ngokwenqaba ukuba nobuhlobo bobulili nomfazi wenye indoda. IzAga 5:15 zithi emadodeni ashadile: “Phuza amanzi embizeni yakho, nemifudlana ephuma phakathi kowakho umthombo.” Qaphela ukuba kungenzeki nangengozi ukuba ube nemizwa yothando ngomunye umuntu ongashadile naye. Yenza umzamo wokuqinisa isibopho sothando emshadweni wakho, futhi zikhandle ukuze uxazulule noma iziphi izinkinga eningase nibe nazo emshadweni. ‘Jabula impela ngomfazi wobusha bakho.’—IzAga 5:18.
Ufundeni?
• UmKristu angangena kanjani ogibeni lokuthandana nomunye umuntu enganakile?
• Iziphi izinyathelo ezingasiza umuntu oshadile ukuba agweme ukuthandana nomunye umuntu angashadile naye?
• Lapho umbhangqwana oshadile uba nezinkinga, yini okufanele uyenze?
• Isiphi isisusa esinamandla kunazo zonke sokuhlala sithembekile emshadweni?
[Imibuzo Yesifundo]
[Isithombe ekhasini 26]
Ngokudabukisayo, emsebenzini kungaba yindawo yokuqhuba ezothando zasemahhovisi
[Isithombe ekhasini 28]
‘Ngolwazi amakamelo angaphakathi ayogcwaliswa ngezinto ezimnandi’